How to Plan for a Baby with Friends and Family
Are friends and family weighing in on your birth plan and your baby’s name? Hinting about how soon after birth they want to visit? Learn how to plan for a baby when others are feeding you too much advice. Here’s how new moms say they handled these outside sources of pregnancy stress.
- Your baby bump is a magnet for excitement, good wishes—and advice. You will hear a lot of different suggestions and advice on pregnancy options. Everyone in your world knows that you face countless decisions during pregnancy and everyone is all too eager to share their advice on how to plan for a baby. But what they see as helpful, you may feel like pressure and unwelcome stress during pregnancy.
- How best, then, to say, “Thanks, but no thanks?” when others advise you on how to plan for a baby. Consider these ideas from moms who’ve been there.
Your Birth Plan
- “Have some stock answers ready to just move the conversation along, like “That’s interesting; I’ll mention it to my doctor” or “I can’t even decide what movie to see this weekend—any suggestions on that?”
- “Share birth plan details on a need-to-know basis. Telling every co-worker and aunt the ins and outs of what you’re thinking is just inviting them to weigh in. When people would ask or offer suggestions, I’d just say that my husband and I had worked out a plan that I felt really great about and now I just wanted to relax and not think about it for a while.”
Your Delivery Invitation List
- “I blamed the hospital rules: Sorry, I can only have 1 person, but we’ll let you know as soon as the baby arrives and you can visit. I don’t actually know what the rules are on who can be present, but that line satisfied relatives angling for an invite.”
Your Baby’s Name
- “We finally just said, ‘This is one topic that’s off-limits.' ”
- “Once you’ve decided, just stick to your guns. When someone would say they didn’t like our name, we’d just say, ‘I hope you get used to it.’”
- “My husband said everyone was welcome to visit, but on the condition that they’d only get to see the baby and me if we were awake, and they had to leave after 15 minutes. At first, it’s really important to protect your time as a new family and put you and the baby first.”
Your Feeding Choice
- “Most people are just trying to help, but consider the source of the advice. Is this someone you like and trust and think has good judgment? Do you agree on their ideas about parenting? Is she saying it in a helpful or kind of pushy way? Trust your gut about how much to engage someone.”
- “I would thank them for their input but say the best advice I ever got about motherhood was that I need to keep my options open.”
- Data on file